What not to get me (or any allotment holder) for Christmas

I suspect that a lot of allotmenteers, like me, cringe a bit as Christmas comes around. We know we’re going to get loads of totally useless and inappropriate stuff from our well-meaning friends and family and then we’re going to have to cart it all down to the allotment and store it in the back of the shed, where the accumulated years of Christmas presents that we didn’t want and won’t use soon threaten to take over all the space.

I have weird little devices that never worked but were supposed to remove perennial weeds easily and permanently. I have broken trowels and forks with tines that are too close together, or too short, or both, I even have a fork with sloping shoulders - why? There are packets of seeds that I never even managed to give away because they were either naff or not suitable for our local terrain. And there are even a few gift vouchers from garden stores and catalogues which - try as I might - I never managed to find a single thing that I wanted to buy from. I do wish that those lovely people who buy this rubbish for me would either ask me what I want, or look at the catalogues and shops I do buy from, and get me a gift token from there!

What I'd really like, but I'm not going to get, is one of these - shredder - isn't that gorgeous? The thing is, much as I want a shredder of my own, I can actually use one that belongs to a neighbour, for a tiny fee, and that makes me feel that buying my own piece of kit would be a wild extravagance. Just for once though, I'd like to run wild.

Labels: allotment-equipment, allotment-gifts, christmas-allotment